I really really really really really really really wish I was dead. I’m so fucking tired of feeling like this
i’m that friend that has to walk behind the group when the path isn’t big enough. i’m that friend that gets cut off in the conversation. i’m that friend that gets left behind when i asked for them to wait for me. i’m that friend that doesn’t get invited to hang out alot. i’m that friend that if i want to go to the mall or some place with a friend i have to be the one to invite people to make sure i get included. i’ll always be that friend.
I just really wish I didn’t exist…I don’t remember what happiness feels like and it really seems like the world is out to get me. people say stop feeling sorry for yourself and get over it but it just doesn’t happen like that. I’ve been through SO much shit and everyone says it’s supposed to get better and it never does… it will maybe get better for a month or two and then I just get sad again and can’t stop it. every time one thing goes right, two things go wrong. I hate everything and I don’t want to live anymore. I can’t deal with it anymore. I’m passively suicidal. I really fucking want to die but I’m not going to do anything to end my life. what’s the point of existing if you’re miserable your whole life? you just bring other people around you down, and no one needs that. fuck this.